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itssexualhour:

today i gave my boyfriend a blowjob in a parking lot and right after i swallowed he started laughing because he saw two old people on scooters going down the highway and we both couldn’t stop laughing. i went down on him again in bed later and couldn’t stop laughing because of the memory and because parks was playing on my laptop so we cuddled and wrote this together 

punpun-kirakira:

patrickat:

nihilisticc:

So my parents just found out about my fourteen year old brother smoking weed because they found this on his window ledge. So in the middle of a huge lecture my dad decides to open the Baggie and smell it to see how strong it is. He immediately starts crying with laughter. THIS NIGGA HAS BEEN BUYING AND SMOKING FUCKING OREGANO. FUCKIN ITALIAN HERBS. SON. I CAN’T. I CANNOT. I CAN’T DO THIS.

This isn’t funny. That’s the gateway drug to a full blown marinara addiction. It’s good this was caught before this kid started hanging out at Olive Garden and sucking on every breadstick he can find to score another hit.

IT GOT BETTER.

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